Saturday mornings have always been the time I felt it most, followed closely by Friday nights. I crave adventure, not the kind you outgrow but the kind that moves you forward. Change, growth, discovery and pretty much anything new and exciting gives me reason to really live, actually thrive, rather than just survive and lately that has been woefully lacking in my life. It has to change, sooner rather than later, right now in fact.
When I was little, on Saturday mornings, I would either start the day with the array of cartoons available only at that time or leave early before everyone woke up and embark on some kind of makeshift adventure out in the world. Sometimes the cartoons were the adventure that started the day, inspiring my excited young self to go out and do something fun with my day. On non-cartoon days I would make myself a big breakfast, choose a direction and walk and/or catch a bus, traveling for miles and exploring neighborhoods beyond my own. Most often I would keep my own company and counsel and the greatest part of the adventure took place in my head. I got into some pretty hairy predicaments sometimes and I doubt my parents even knew where I went or what I did so long as I didn’t bring any trouble home but I survived and built great memories.
One of my brothers believes that most people don’t do more with their life out of fear. He may be right about many people but I prefer to believe that fear is not the problem at all. I was scared often as a kid and every time I do something new and big I get scared before I start and a few seconds after but once I’m into whatever it is, I’m usually too busy doing it to let the fear be the loudest voice in my head. Everyone fears big change. I think the real choice is whether or not you let fear stop you. Instead I prefer to concentrate on the results I want and push through the noise.
Now I’ve found myself in a situation where on paper my life is good. I have money, a home, and peace. It’s not enough though and over time I have been suffering and kind of going through the motions. It’s living sure but that’s all it is. So I am going to once again uproot myself and do something big, a group of things actually, and it probably won’t make sense to a lot of people but well, it’s my life to live. Actually it’s my life to thrive. Suit up! It’s time to begin another adventure. I’m going to let the beard grow again too.